I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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