You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize