kristin has been a bad kristin
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
