it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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