He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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