He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
