I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
