i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize