went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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