so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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