Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
