Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
