Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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