tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
