So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
