btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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