This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
