well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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