Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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