do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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