Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
