it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
