At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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