Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
