trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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