Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
