I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
