and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
