hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
