Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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