nut hugger
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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