1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
