apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
