I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
