Define "chronic" masturbator.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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