he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
