Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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