Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm both gender and math confused
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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