I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
