could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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