She announced her abortion via fbk
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
