I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
