wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
