There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
