I want to walk on stilts...naked
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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