Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
