Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Swine flu. Run for my life!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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