Midget sex pt 2 tonight
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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