Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
