Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize