i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Never joke about your clitoris.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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