So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
