I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
There are leaves in my underwear?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
