Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
