I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
