one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
