Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
