i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
