Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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