you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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